The Courage to Speak Up and Speak the Truth

By Bonnie Anderson

In every congregation there are lay people who hold a certain kind of personal authority. I’m sure you know these folks. Among them, they share some common characteristics. They are kind, have a positive outlook, often see the “big picture” and are usually soft spoken, but not always. They possess a certain kind of wisdom that is steeped in humility. Most importantly, they are brave and not afraid to speak the truth.

I knew a matriarch (used in the best sense of the word) with personal authority. At 93 years she would stand at the microphone at diocesan convention, having thoroughly researched the topic about which she is speaking, and convince a whole diocese to vote for her cause, controversial though it may be. Mary was fearless.

There was standing room only at her funeral, and the preacher recalled many situations of conflict and distress that were prayerfully and gracefully resolved when Mary spoke. She spoke up when she saw things going wrong. She headed off parish situations that could have divided the parish, sent the rector away and put the congregation’s ministry into a tail spin for years to come. She spoke the truth in difficult situations and, in Church, that is not easy to do. After all, we have no language in the Church for telling each other the hard truth in love, even though the One we follow, told the truth all his life on earth. Even when it “hurt other people’s feelings”.

What keeps us, the laity, from speaking the truth in parish situations where parishioners have “ganged up” on the rector? What keeps us from speaking up, what keeps us silent, is fear. We are afraid of losing the friends we have had for many years. We are afraid that our fellow parishioners won’t like us anymore. We are afraid that telling the truth from our own perspective will alienate us from our parish community. Our own self­interest keeps us silent while we sit by and watch our clergy person eviscerated.

My grandmother (of all knowledge and wisdom) told me once, on the occasion of me not speaking up for a bunch of little kids in our neighborhood who were being bullied by bigger kids, that fear is the opposite of faith. Since I was a very obedient Roman Catholic at the time, I was having none of fear from then on. As I grew in faith (and became an Episcopalian) I learned to live by 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control”.

As for speaking up in congregations headed down a path of conflict and angst, as laity, we need to be not only courageous but we have to remember that we are actually called to speak up. We promise to do so in our baptismal covenant (respect the dignity of every human being­ how? By speaking up when we see someone being diminished).

As I read the beautifully written words in the “Care for Clergy in Difficult Calls Writing Project”, I first want to say that I am so sorry for the pain that has been inflicted on both clergy and laity. But I think that laity are missing the inherent message in these difficult situations. The congregation is where our Christian community thrives – it is where we live, pray, worship and become renewed. We learn to deepen our love for Jesus. The congregation is our “proving ground”, where we practice our own resurrection, where we learn about ourselves and each other. It is where we learn to be the whole human beings that God created us to be. If we, as laity, do not speak up in these difficult situations, it is a sin of omission.

C.S. Lewis reminds us “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point”. Courage animates all our virtues­honesty, confidence, humility, compassion, integrity, valor. Without courage all these virtues lie dormant. Without regular use, our courage becomes harder for us to conjure up, less available to us. If we are not regularly courageous, our courage dries up. “Courageous” becomes only a memory of how we used to be.

Please now, allow me to share some ideas for possibly heading off these difficult situations in the future:

To the clergy: When you are called to a congregation, look to identify the laity who you see as those having personal authority. Get to know them. Invite them to get to know you. Really know you. Pick their brains about the “culture” of the congregation. Ask them to tell you their hopes and dreams and you tell them yours. Then cast the net wider, and do the same thing with the whole congregation, a little at a time. It may take a long time depending on the size of the congregation.

H. Coleman McGehee, Bishop in the Diocese of Michigan (now deceased) was a “dove” when it came to war and military action. At his parish in Virginia he had many parishioners with military vocations. He devoted several years to developing authentic relationships. He got to know the parishioners (called “one on ones” in the community organizing community). He got to really know them, not to change people’s minds, but to hear their viewpoints and to share his views with them. Love and respect transcend all sorts of mindsets when people cannot agree on issues. This is not news to you, but “It’s all about relationship”.

To the laity: Read the Catechism regarding the ministry of the laity. Find out what your job is. Look it up in the BCP (page 855). Know your gifts, know what your ministry is and really commit to it. This is one of the most important things you will do in your life. When you say the baptismal covenant, mean it (after all it is a promise). If you can’t promise that you will respect the dignity of every human being, with God’s help, then don’t say those words when the baptismal covenant is renewed. Have generosity of spirit. Be kind. Love your neighbor and be in partnership with the clergy that God has given us. Have courage to speak the truth in love. Commit to being a loving and responsible member of your Christian community. If you have your baptism certificate, as a daily reminder of your primary vocation in life, hang it on the wall near where you get dressed in the morning. Most importantly, get over the fear. Take a deep breath and speak the truth in love. It will set you free.

These suggestions may sound simplistic, but they can be life changing. We are Christ’s
Henri Nouwen reminds us that "we are cast into communities of people that we would never, in all our life, choose for ourselves." There’s a life message there: Everything comes from God.

Bonnie Anderson is the Senior Warden at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pontiac, Michigan. She served
as President of the House of Deputies from 2006­2012, Vice­President of the House of Deputies from 2003­2006 and served as chair of the Joint Standing Committee on Program Budget and Finance for 6 years. She has been an elected member of the Executive Council of the Episcopal Church and has served on many other Episcopal Church committees on both the diocesan and national level. She is the recipient of 5 Episcopal Seminary honorary doctorate degrees in Theology and Canon Law. She is a Canon in the Diocese of Ecuador. To learn more about her effort in 2010 to develop Circles of Ministries, building up Laity, Deacon, Priests, and Bishops see: http://archive.episcopalchurch.org/79425_122437_ENG_HTM.htm"

The above essay was written out of a partnership between The Episcopal Women’s Caucus (EWC) and The Network of Episcopal Clergy (NECA.) This project developed following a watershed moment when in January 2014 the Diocese of Newark passed a resolution seeking that their Bishop appoint a task force to explore Dignity of Work issues related to clergy and workplace bullying. This essay was written as part of a collection of essays written to begin to address the challenge of challenging calls and the issue of workplace bullying. While the views in this essays are the authors own and we acknowledge that no one essay will be able to identify all the issues involved, our hope is that in and through the collection of pieces we might support what has begun locally in the Diocese of Newark and more importantly, further the conversation in the wider Episcopal church. As these essays are both sponsored and being released jointly by both NECA and The EWC please read all the essays at The Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog and The Care for Clergy in Difficult Calls Writing Project.

If you are a clergy person in the midst of a challenging call or you have gone through it and would like to see the beginnings of a set of resources that might support you, please see the NECA Resource Page
If you would like to write about your own experience of a challenging call or forced resignation for posting on the Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog please send your essay to motherkaeton@gmail.com 

In Defense of Vocare: Advocacy for Those Deepened by the Storm

by The Rev. Scott Petersen

Forced resignations of priests and pastors happen. They do.

We may not know upon whom the storm will come down on, but we know it will. Even as this is being written there is a clergy person embroiled in deep conflict and on their way out. There is grief, pain, and bewilderment about the call to ministry that preceded such a situation. Crude statistics suggest that the one being forced out will be a woman, but that is not to say that it is not now a male clergy who is experiencing it.

Let me just try to share a peek into what the experience was like. My experience is of course subjective, but when shared with others who have experienced the same, they nod. The names and faces are different but the experience of conflict and antagonism is familiar. Fellow priests identify with the challenge they went through and if privileged to have a family who get front row seats to these unfolding dramas, the impact on their spouses and children.

I remember standing in the basement in a little town on the eastern edge of the Diocese of Western North Carolina just days after resigning as Rector.The waters of chaos raged about my head. I was stunned. Drained. I had just walked through an intensity... an emotional barrage that I could not have anticipated. The experience of the those two long years leading up to that day, as I stood numbly, just barely able to collect my breath, was one that I had not signed up for. Certainly, it was not the experience my wife and children signed up for. What I discovered was that I was woefully ill equipped, ill suited to withstand the vitriol, the political brinkmanship and triangulation that I had just lived through as Rector. I had resigned, yes, technically it was my choice, but it had not been a free one. I had been actively working towards reconciliation though such work takes all points on the compass­ Diocesan Staff, Parishioners, Priest­ for it to hold. What I had just experienced was a “forced resignation” though in that moment could not have named it such. I have since discovered, I am not the only one to go through such a thing and that it happens more than anyone would like to publically admit.

In that moment though, as I wandered there in shock in my basement, I had no name for what I had just experienced. I don’t remember such outcomes being discussed in my discernment toward the priesthood. Seminary had been pretty quiet about it. A thorough explanation of the particular church’s past conflict(s) had not been articulated by either Canon or Bishop prior to call as rector. All in that moment was loss. I stood there in front of a bookshelf wondering if the past eight years of preparation and practice of my priestly vocation was now in vain. I wondered, “how do you explain this?” “Was I now out of ministry, forced to sell shoes seething from an experience tinged with betrayal I could not yet explain?” “What about my wife and children?” Not far behind, like the psalmists of the old, came, “Where was God in this?“ There in that moment, I felt utterly alone.

Breadwinner no more...
Christians do not treat each other like this... Failure...
Fool...

There in front me, there in the basement, surprisingly, was one book jutted out farther from the rest. I don’t remember buying it or why I had it in the first place. It just was... there. It was Eugene Peterson’s Under the Unpredictable Plant. Into that dark, dark moment began, what I now see as a long, at times tortuously slow, road of grace.
... ... ...
Challenging calls that end in forced resignations are muddy, emotionally charged, poorly tracked, politically challenging situations. Some challenging calls never get that far as clergy may opt to jump ship as storm clouds begin to embroil. In other challenging calls, propped up by effective support, the clergy person is able to remain in place and walk through it. Many however, end in forced resignations. And out of those, only some receive severances.

There is always a cost to such conflict. It takes a toll. Having walked such conflict, with all the component grief tinged learning that comes with it, I wonder why as a church we have opted to extend only informal support to clergy who go through it, rather than develop a more formal process of care? Granted, a ministry to clergy who live through this is not the sexy ministry of ordaining clergy, where bright shiney people go forth to minister in pretty sanctuaries. If we are being honest however, this is an area of ministry that people often look away from or assume might happen to someone else. Some evidence suggests that as many as 28% of all clergy will experience a forced resignation at some time in their career. Of that 28%, 4 out of 10 will leave the ministry altogether as a result.*

Look away if you like, but the systemic issue is that “forced resignations” of clergy happen.
At the present time in the Episcopal Church, there is neither canonical provision to support clergy should they feel the sting of workplace violations (bullying) nor, and I believe this is just as significant, no formal ministry of care for clergy coming through such challenging calls.
There is an opportunity cost lurking in this dark corner of the church.

Rather than looking away and potentially casting off those who experience such calls to either sink or swim, there remains an alternative. There is an opportunity, out of the seminary of “hard knocks” so to speak, providing there is both legal and moral ground to do so, for the church to reclaim those who experience such situations. It is the opportunity to reclaim from the ashes a now better resourced clergy better able to lead. As a church committed to the four fold ministry of Laity, Deacon, Priest, and Bishop, we can do better then turn away.

Looking back and taking another look, now years ago from the place I now write, there at the bookshelf, I grabbed Eugene Peterson’s treatise. While I could not see it in that moment, his work was an abundant grace. There in a moment of great loss, came the gift of one man's Ministry. He wrote about the significance of discovering one's vocation out of the wreckage of clergy careerism. Of all the books on my bookcase that I could of grabbed for, it was the book that held, as it’s central metaphor, Jonah’s descent into the belly of the whale God’s means of transformation. Peterson argued that all clergy need to discover their vocation out of clergy careerism. Raging waters and the descent into darkness become, he argues, the very vehicle of Jonah’s transformation. I could identify. This was not only a short comical biblical story. Jonah is the account of being in the crucible... God’s method, at times, of guiding us to true north. If Jesus chose Peter out of failure and we can discover account after biblical account where God uses the meek, the troubled, the bumbling and reclaims them for God’s purpose, then should not we? 

Could God be calling us now to do so?

And from that moment of despair in my basement?

I did not expect it but the continuation of grace would be golf. This is funny because I’m a terrible golfer. Informally, I would be introduced to a collection of clergy golfers and learned I was not the only one who had felt the sting of when a priest/parish relationship turns sour. Informally, I began to have conversation with different leaders around the church for discovery and guidance. Informally, I was introduced and guided by a very competent priest who provided essential pastoral care. Informally, I discovered and was invited to attend a Ministering to Ministers retreat and spent a week with other priests and pastors who had experienced the same thing. Informally, I was introduced and then devoured the works of Peter Steinke. Informally, I was invited to share my story with NECA. Informally I began to see first and then believe again that my vocation in the church was not dead as some projected but very much alive.

That was the most darndest discovery of all.

Out of a brutal experience, some of which I must take responsibility for, I discovered that my vocation remained. Grace upon grace upon grace.

Ultimately, similar to Jonah, I grudgingly gave it over to God and I landed back on shore. Daily I have the opportunity to again lead, learn from, and grow in parish ministry.

All along the way though, I wondered, what about those who don’t play golf? After all, there is nothing particularly meritorious about golf. As I reflected, the graces and kindnesses I received were all informal. Was I just lucky? As I had lots of conversation about these situations, a growing conviction began to emerge. If we are going to care for clergy who come through such experiences, shouldn’t we as a church move from informal to formal so that best practices and lessons learned might be identified and shared?

At every ordination of every priest the Bishop and the people pronounce that it is their will that said priest be presented and they will uphold him or her in their office. I remember that moment at ordination hearing the roar of people and clergy behind me. I remember it just as clearly as I remember the profound silence in my basement shaking in the reality of having been cast off. The two experiences are as profoundly different and as wide as the sea. The irony. Each moment was experienced in the same institutional Church. Each had all the same elements­ Bishop, people, priest.

I believe we can do better. We are an institutional Church committed to the life, witness, teaching, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The very Good News we are both called and strive to share is a message of life being greater than death... Grace over Sin... “The darkness could not overcome it.” It is my great hope that we might find both the courage and the will to develop as an institution a formal ministry of care to reclaim the vocations that we as a church swore to uphold.

One opportunity to develop such a formal ministry could be CREDO. CREDO by commission has in the past been resourced to assist Clergy in Haiti following their devastating earthquake and resourced for clergy coming out of conflicted dioceses. CREDO could be called, charged and commissioned to develop such a ministry. While both those at CREDO and the Church Pension Fund could willingly move on such ministry, a resolution at General Convention for the church to develop a formal ministry of care to for clergy would also launch such a ministry. We can do better. This is one way we might do better.
... ... ...
To be honest, I would not willingly go through such a crucible experience that I woefully try to share here. I would have prefered God teach me with pillows and feathers. Why share about it? Why write about it now? Why expose oneself remembering one professor in seminary who quipped, “Confession is good for the soul but terrible for the reputation?” Why acknowledge it publicly when it would be less risky simply to live more fully into my present call?

I share it in the hope that some other priest, man or woman, will in time, have better articulated canons related to the dignity of work. In the Episcopal Church where we invest incredible sums in time, talent, and treasure in the front end towards the formation of new clergy, it seems short­sighted to not to try and reclaim clergy who may have gained insight into ministry through such challenging situations. Where there may have been both a place and time for old boy

networks and informal measures to address such challenges (even recognizing that I benefited from the same), I believe such informal measures and networks, in and of themselves, may not be available or found. I share it now so that we might develop a ministry of care for those who do experience this that is guided by safety, identification, witness, retreat, education, and advocacy. I share it in the hope that by working towards de­stigmatizing the way these forced resignations are experienced, we might do the important ministry of providing a formal ministry of care for those who need now building up rather than more tearing down. In de­stigmatizing such failure, we might help even out the playing field in how these systemic challenges are handled. By taking a lead in the development of such a future ministry, The Episcopal Church, might demonstrate to the wider Church more fully the value it places in the power of relationship and the strength of dignity both given and received.

I share it because there is an opportunity lurking in such challenging calls.
It is vocare.

The call of the One who may be deepening such calls through trying circumstances. It is the call to discover Easter lurking in, about, and through such Good Friday’s.

* See David Briggs, Silent Clergy Killers: ‘Toxic’ Congregations Lead to Widespread Job Loss http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david­briggs/silent­clergy­killers­tox_b_1437857.html
The Rev. Scott Petersen is Priest in Charge at All Saints Episcopal Church in the Diocese of Atlanta. He is a graduate of Virginia Theological Seminary and Engle Fellow at Princeton Seminary. He currently sits as Vice President on the board of the Network for Episcopal Clergy Associations (NECA) He has more deeply discovered his vocation working both to lessen the sting of and advocating for the unanticipated gains developed through challenging calls. To contact him about ideas shared here or toward the development of a formal ministry of care please email at revpetersen@gmail.com

The above essay was written out of a partnership between The Episcopal Women’s Caucus (EWC) and The Network of Episcopal Clergy (NECA.) This project developed following a watershed moment when in January 2014 the Diocese of Newark passed a resolution seeking that their Bishop appoint a task force to explore Dignity of Work issues related to clergy and workplace bullying. This essay was written as part of a collection of essays written to begin to address the challenge of challenging calls and the issue of workplace bullying. While the views in this essays are the authors own and we acknowledge that no one essay will be able to identify all the issues involved, our hope is that in and through the collection of pieces we might support what has begun locally in the Diocese of Newark and more importantly, further the conversation in the wider Episcopal church. As these essays are both sponsored and being released jointly by both NECA and The EWC please read all the essays at The Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog and The Care for Clergy in Difficult Calls Writing Project.

If you are a clergy person in the midst of a challenging call or you have gone through it and would like to see the beginnings of a set of resources that might support you, please see the NECA Resource Page
If you would like to write about your own experience of a challenging call or forced resignation for posting on the Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog please send your essay to motherkaeton@gmail.com 

Check the Congregation's DNA

Check the Congregation's DNA by The Rev. Dr. Charles Chandler
The mapping of the human DNA – the master plan of all life – is one of the major breakthroughs of modern medical science. It enables physicians to see the overall picture of a person's health. Vulnerable areas can be detected and through preventive medical treatment, life and quality of life may be extended.

In a sense, churches also have a form of DNA. Just as both healthy genes and viruses are passed from generation to generation among human beings, both functional and dysfunctional systems pass the hereditary information from one generation to the next through cells in organizations. This includes churches. Knowing the background and health of a congregation does not solve all problems. It can, however, reveal the need for wise organizational management.

Let me share two scenarios. A young pastor five years out of seminary accepted a call to a church made up primarily of older members. Though they had had a long linage of outstanding pastors, the church's growth had not met their expectations. Located in the "downtown" portion of a midsize city, they had determined to stay in their location in an effort to reach the changing community. Their building was badly in need of renovation. Most of the neighboring churches of varying denominations had fled to the suburbs.

During the first six months the new pastor visited in the homes of most of the membership. They wanted to know his vision for the church. He shared a few specific possibilities and asked what they would like to see happen. He included their visions with his list as he continued to visit, listen, and talk with families. A vision that was projected by the pastor was shaped by the people and within the first year the church voted unanimously to engage in a major renovation program. While most of the leadership of the church was old enough to be the pastor's parent or grandparent, they followed his leadership and the church took on new life and pioneered innovative social ministries that made an impact on that changing community. Though the church did not grow numerically, the decline slowed and the congregation found fulfillment in responding to the opportunities around them through helping to meet people's needs in the name of Christ.

Later, when the pastor did a study of that scenario, he learned that the church had been born through a bitter church split. The new church was formed by the group supporting their pastor - about 35 years prior to the young pastor’s arrival on the scene. Trust in their pastor was a part of their DNA. They did not "rubber stamp" pastoral leadership. The church leadership included professionals who were also leaders in the community. They questioned proposals and offered suggestions. But they were also willing to place strong trust in the leadership of their ministers. Together they shaped visions and met needs.

In the second scenario, an experienced pastor was called to a fast growing suburban church that listed "strong pastoral leadership" as their first priority for their next pastor. This pastor also spent time visiting in homes and listening to church leaders' visions. Though there was widespread support for some new initiatives, many efforts such as renovation of one of the buildings to better utilize badly needed space, and an effort to adapt the church's organizational structure to accommodate future growth, were sabotaged by a small group of charter members. Though this group did not represent the majority of the congregation, they succeeded in stifling the leadership efforts on the part of newer members as well as the ministerial leadership team. They wanted to hold the pastor and ministerial team accountable for the health and growth of the church but did not want them to have much if any input in decision making.

After leaving that congregation, the pastor learned more about their history (DNA). The church had been born through a reaction to a pastor. The mother church planned to start a new mission church. Most of the leaders who resisted the mother-church pastor's leadership jumped on the "new church start" bandwagon. Though the new church was presented (25 years later) to the new prospective pastor as a great missional venture, it was in reality a sophisticated church split in disguise. Those who joined the new church venture in reaction to the mother church's pastor soon entrenched themselves as leaders of the new church. Their mistrust of ministers brought resistance to most issues.

The small core of resistance challenged the new pastor's leadership and undercut his influence. It was only after learning more about their DNA that the pastor understood the dynamics of what had happened. Mistrust was in their DNA. This meant the congregation had some "healthy cells and some viruses.” It also meant the system was functional at times and dysfunctional at other times.
Knowing your church's DNA does not automatically mean that you will have a long and loving tenure. You may be terminated for helping to bring health to an unhealthy system. But you can make intentional choices that enable you to remain healthy – at least healthier - in the midst of dysfunction.
Here are some important questions to ask when considering a new assignment; questions that might better prepare a pastor to make healthy decisions:

• How did the church start? Was support of a pastor or a reaction to a pastor a factor?
• What are the congregation's secrets?
• Have the pain periods been worked through? Learn where the church has been and how it developed into what it has become.
• Has the church been able to alter their patterns in the past? Or have their patterns become entrenched?
• How did their previous pastors leave? Were they forced out as a result of behind-the- scenes maneuvers?
•  Is there a pattern in how the previous pastors left? Talk with previous pastors to get their interpretation.
• How does the church make decisions? Is the pastor's input valued?
• Are the church leaders willing to help shape proposals?
• Does the church accept new people? Are they allowed to be part of the leadership team?
• Can the church let people go? If some feel "out of step," can the church leaders bless them as they go to another church where they can feel more "in step?"
• Does the church accept responsibility for its actions? Or does the congregation become dysfunctional when initiatives are not successful?
• Can the church accept change? Has the decision already been made to keep everythingthe same?

Self-differentiation is important in leading a congregation in relation to trust or mistrust. Self-differentiation is the psychological separation of intellect and emotions and involves the independence of self from others. This enables a minister to maintain a distance in the heat of emotionally charged discussions involving finger pointing and blaming while remaining connected.

A dysfunctional church still needs a pastor. It is equally important that the pastor be aware of the fact that the church is dysfunctional. Good questions for ministers already leading such congregations include:

1. How well do I know myself including trust and mistrust in myself?
2. Do I know how to be in contact with the situation without losing my own identity?
3. Can I self-define (communicating of self to others) and self-regulate (regulating one’s own anxiety) sufficiently to avoid over or under functioning?
4. Can I develop a plan that utilizes input from the lay leaders and communicate it? Does sabotage – too much trust or mistrust – baffle me or do I know how to handle it?
5. Am I growing in my relationship to God?

If God leads a minister to a church, I believe God can empower that minister to provide

If God good servant leadership. It is presumptuous, however, to expect God to do for you what you refuse to do for yourself. It makes good sense to understand the obstacles you may face in the process of becoming a congregation’s leader. It is also a safeguard in maintaining your own emotional health.

In a 2012 study by Marcus N. Tanner, Anisa M. Zvonkovic, and Charlie Adams, Tanner reports that more than one out of four pastors – an average of 28 percent among the 39 denominations surveyed – say that they have been forced out of their church ministry position at least once. The personal attacks and criticism came from small factions within the congregations. Tanner found two main predictors of future conflict; recent church fights and shrinking congregations.

In one of the studies (Tanner, Wherry & Zvonkovic, 2012), the focus was on the stories of ministry couples who had been forcibly terminated. Quantitatively, these clergy scored high –

in some cases above the clinical cutoff – for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

These couples also reported having experienced bullying tactics prior to being pushed out which indicated that forced termination was more than an event. It was also a process.

Often, a leader in the opposition group was thought to have been a close and trusted friend. The sense of betrayal – called the “Brutus effect” – added even more pain and resulted in a deeper distrust. Some of the clergy couples reported that:

• They were forced to file for bankruptcy and move in with their aging parents.
• They struggled with deciding whether to continue in ministry as a vocation.
• They spoke about their lack of faith in God during this time.
• Some with adult children stated that their children no longer wanted to have anything to do with the church following the forced termination of their parents.
• The process of force termination usually lasted between six months and two years.
• Tanner states that the back side of the storm is always the worst. Its strength and duration leaves a path of destruction in its wake, however, storms do die down at some point. The storms in our lives also come to an end. It is at this point that we pick up the pieces and begin the long process toward healing. With proper self care, counseling, friends, and through using our spiritual resources, wounded ministers can become even more effective pastors.
• I’m convinced that any experience, as painful as it may have been, when given to God, has the potential of helping us grow strong at the broken places. It is important to remember that although good can come from bad it does not mean that bad is good!

The devastation cited above is all the more reason for you to do your homework as a minister and for congregations to do their homework as calls are issued and accepted. I often

hear the phrase, “It is a good church and a good minister, but, it just is not a good match.” That means one or both parties did not do their homework well. There’s no substitute for thorough DNA scrutiny.


1. Tanner, M.N. Back Side of the Storm: Clergy Families in Distress, Family Focus, Winter 2013, F15-F16. 2. Pastors’ Fight and Flight, Christianity Today, May 2012, 9.

The Rev. Dr. Charles H. Chandler holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Samford University, Birmingham, AL and Master of Divinity (M.Div.), Master of Religious Education (MRE), and Doctor of Divinity Degrees from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY. In 1994, Dr. Chandler led in the founding of the Ministering to Ministers Foundation (MTM), Inc., an organization which seeks to serve as advocates for clergy due to deteriorating employment or congregation-clergy relationships. The centerpiece of the ministry is the intense five- day Healthy Transitions Wellness Retreat for Ministers and Spouses led by professionals and held in various locations across the nation. Dr. Chandler has served as Executive Director of MTM since its inception. Dr. and Mrs. Chandler are the parents of four adult children. To contact email: mtm@mtmfoundation.org or phone

804-594-2556

The above essay was written out of a partnership betweenThe Episcopal Women’s Caucus (EWC) and The Network of Episcopal Clergy (NECA.) This project developed following a watershed moment when in January 2014 the Diocese of Newark passed a resolution seeking that their Bishop appoint a task force to explore Dignity of Work issues related to clergy and workplace bullying. This essay was written as part of a collection of essays written to begin to address the challenge of challenging calls and the issue of workplace bullying. While the views in this essays are the authors own and we acknowledge that no one essay will be able to identify all the issues involved, our hope is that in and through the collection of pieces we might support what has begun locally in the Diocese of Newark and more importantly, further the conversation in the wider Episcopal church. As these essays are both sponsored and being released jointly by both NECA and The EWC please read all the essays at The Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog and The Care for Clergy in Difficult Calls Writing Project.

If you are a clergy person in the midst of a challenging call or you have gone through it and would like to see the beginnings of a set of resources that might support you, please see the NECA Resource Page
If you would like to write about your own experience of a challenging call or forced resignation for posting on the Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog please send your essay to motherkaeton@gmail.com

Beyond "a Challenge"

Beyond "a Challenge" by The Rev. Dr. Dennis Maynard

"My own ouster began with the return of a lapsed member who was placed in a position of power.  After a year, he told a fellow member of the parish that he was "going to get him”, and thus began the premeditated character assignation (against me). The lies alone would have destroyed any person in any position, and the gossip mill churned out the most absurd stories that painted me as an evil villain, and had any been true, I would have been defrocked and arrested for the acts described. The issue was the use of Discretionary funds to people of color, the poorest of the poor, and the working poor. My vision for ministry was put on trial - I was found blameless as to any misuse of funds, I broke no laws: church or public. Spiritually, I suffered from such mean spirited, contemptuous, and hateful speech that I wept that so called Christian people could say such, much less to someone they claimed to have loved at one time. My therapist said I do suffer from PTSD, which I thought was absurd, until I shared with him some of what transpired in public forums and in private conversations. Why be silent? This happens to people, and there is no reason to hide the facts."  

A male Episcopal Priest

          

           It is encouraging to know that the conversations surrounding the painful departures of clergy are being brought out of the Church kitchen and into the living room.  I would like to suggest that there are actually three distinct conversations, and that the three should not be commingled.

           The first conversation surrounds clergy engaged in challenging calls.  There are many congregational calls that could be considered challenging.  For those of us that lived through the various phases of prayer book revision and broadening the ministry of the Church to be more inclusive, most every congregation proved to be challenging. Currently, the challenge every clergy person faces is, what appears to be, a trend downward in church attendance, membership, and stewardship.

           The second conversation revolves around variant visions for the congregation; friction caused by differing leadership styles, job expectations, financial priorities, and personality differences.  Such disagreements, to some degree or another, are almost inevitable.  Lay members often seek election to the vestry precisely because they have a divergent view from their rector.  Emotions can run high in such situations, but seldom become bitter.  Conflict management consultants are often quite successful in bringing a peaceful resolution to clearly defined situations.  They can often have a peaceful, if not happy, resolution.  Such disputations are seldom personal or vicious.

           There is a third conversation that I believe should be kept distinct from the previous two.  These altercations are premeditated and intentionally executed.  Those engaged in the assault have one clear and irreversible goal from the day they initiate them.  They often want to remove and destroy the ministry and reputation of their pastor. The three books I've written on this nonpareil experience are the result of focused research.  The cynosure of that work has been the attacks leveled against clergy by a handful of dysfunctional personalities in their congregations.  These pastors were often subjected to verbal abuse, threats (often physical), slander, lies, blackmail, and on occasion, death threats.  These attacks were being led by highly controlling personalities intent not only on removing the rector, but ultimately destroying any future ministry they might desire.  This character assassination often continues years, even decades, after the pastor has vacated the particular parish.  Their attacks were seldom related to the ministry program of the parish, or even the work performance of the rector.  The unrelenting vilification of the pastor was being led by less than one to two percent of the congregation.  

           There are seven specific issues that must be included in the conversation.

           1.  Finding a descriptive word or phrase for the abusive behavior is the first challenge.  It is the abusive, slanderous, and threatening behavior of a handful of antagonists that needs to be our focus.  The following words and phrases actually detract from the issues surrounding that behavior.

           Parish Conflict - Describing the personal attacks on the pastor as a parish conflict is misleading.  Evidence reveals that the parish is not in conflict in these situations.  The rector and the majority of the vestry are not even in conflict.

          

           Bullying - This term suggests that the clergy need only "buck up" and confront their bullies, much as you would any school yard or workplace bully.  Failure to do so paints pastors as weaklings, unable to defend themselves.  The abuse inflicted on the clergy and their families in these situations goes far beyond bullying.

           Forced Resignation - This term suggests that through the review process, the vestry and bishop, found the rector's ministry unacceptable.  As a courtesy, they allowed the rector to resign, much as you would a disgraced politician, "needing to spend more time with their family".  This is a misleading term, clouded in suspicion. This term fails to keep the focus on the behavior of the antagonists and casts a shadow over the rector's ministry.

           Fired - This is an explosive word and is most often associated with clergy misconduct.   The bishop and vestry, on finding evidence of this misconduct, or the rector failing to perform their ministerial duties, summarily dismissed them.  Again, none of the clergy in my studies were guilty of any canonical or legal violation.  The evidence as to job performance is quite to the contrary.  The clergy subjected to sheep attacks as I have come to name them were often leading growing and dynamic congregations.  It needs to be noted that fired is the preferred word utilized by the antagonists to boast of their success.

           2.  Often, a staff member, professional lay volunteer, music minister, head of school, clergy associate, former rector or associate, retired priest, and yes, retired bishops, served as a co-conspirator with the antagonists.  The power the staff member exercised in the process increased dramatically if they had achieved the level of beloved in the congregation.  If the leadership in the parish believed the staff member to be indispensable, they, in these scenarios are able to participate with out fear of being reprimanded or removed.  Any conversation intended to find a resolution to this must also address collusive behavior of staff members, resident and former clergy.

           3.  A third aspect to be addressed should include the collateral damage the sheep attack inflicts on the faithful lay people in the congregation. Oftentimes clergy antagonists also slandered and abused the lay leaders that supported the rector. The lay leaders, who stand up to the antagonists, find they are emotionally and spiritually fatigued.  They want the misery to end, even if it means they will lose, and their rector chooses to leave.  They often follow the rector out of the parish.  Most have no inclination to return to any parish. Parish records consistently verify that attendance, membership, and stewardship decline dramatically following an abused rector's resignation.  Inside those statistics are yet other faithful laity that choose to leave that particular parish, and often the Church. This conversation will not be complete without considering their wounds and how we can address them.

           4.  Episcopal clergy, under attack, often turn to their bishop and diocesan staff for assistance.  Too often, the evidence suggests, their bishops were ill prepared to deal with the antagonists.  The antagonists often represent themselves to the diocesan authorities as representatives of the congregational majority.  Likewise, they frequently sweeten their attacks with offers to substantially increase their giving once the rector is gone.  There are instances where bishops have confronted the behavior of the antagonists.  In those circumstances, the antagonists retreated, left the parish, or on occasion, turned their vengeance on the bishop.  A critical component of this conversation must include education and training for the bishops and the diocesan staff on how to respond to this destructive behavior.

           5. If it were put to a congregational vote, the vast majority of the congregation would vote to retain their rector.  The difficulty is that in situations like this the rector has been so unrelentingly abused that they are suffering from battle fatigue.  The pummeling often takes place underneath the congregational radar for weeks, months, or even years before it is made public.  The words and terms most often associated with this experience fail to be descriptive of how the rector's ministry actually ended. The rector made the healthy choice to shake the dust off their feet and walk away from their abusers. They did so because they were exhausted. They were burned out and often suffering with post-traumatic stress injury. The priest's spouse and children are often so traumatized by the nightmare that they too want to leave the parish.  They want to "get away" from their abusers.

          

           6.  Beyond burnout, the emotional memories that never go away, and in some cases, post traumatic stress injury, victim clergy have to live with the most painful insult of all.  The Church that they felt called to serve marks them as unacceptable. The oral tradition that follows them often records them as a controversial priest, forced to resign, or in the language of the antagonists, fired.  The most searing insult is when their bishop and fellow clergy validate the lies and slander of the antagonists.  Accurately describing the reason a rector chooses to leave an abusive parish is critical to removing this stigma.

           7.  We need to end the Conspiracy of Silence. Toxic parishes do exist.  There are congregations with a history of repeatedly abusing and then boasting of firing their rectors.  Bishops, clergy, and lay leaders need to stop clothing these congregations in a cover story. Invariably, that story comes at the expense of the departing rector.  Addressing that habitual behavior must be a part of the conversation, but it cannot be corrected until it is exposed.      

           The resolution before the Diocese of Newark is a giant step forward.  My prayer is that utilizing a common language, and maintaining our focus on the common elements in this nightmare, will enable us to better prepare every level of Church leadership to respond to this abusive behavior.

The Reverend Doctor Dennis R. Maynard is the best selling author of fifteen books, including the popular Sheep Attack Series, Those Episkopols, Forgive and Get Your Life Back, and The Magnolia Series.  He has served as a consultant to bishops, clergy, schools, and congregations in thirty-one dioceses in the United States and Canada.  During his thirty-eight years of parish ministry, Doctor Maynard served some of the largest congregations in the American Church.  You can contact him through his website www.Episkopols.com

The above essay was written out of a partnership between The Episcopal Women’s Caucus (EWC) and The Network of Episcopal Clergy (NECA.) This project developed following a watershed moment when in January 2014 the Diocese of Newark passed a resolution seeking that their Bishop appoint a task force to explore Dignity of Work issues related to clergy and workplace bullying.  This essay was written as part of a collection of essays written to begin to address the challenge of challenging calls and the issue of workplace bullying. While the views in this essays are the authors own and we acknowledge that no one essay will be able to identify all the issues involved, our hope is that in and  through the collection of pieces we might support what has begun locally in the Diocese of Newark and more importantly, further the conversation in the wider Episcopal church. As these essays are both sponsored and being released jointly by both NECA and The EWC please read all the essays at The Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog and  The Care for Clergy in Difficult Calls Writing Project.

If you are a clergy person in the midst of a challenging call or you have gone through it and would like to see the beginnings of a set of resources that might support you, please see the  NECA Resource Page

If you would like to write about your own experience of a challenging call or forced resignation for posting on the Episcopal Women’s Caucus blog please send your essay to motherkaeton@gmail.com